I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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