No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
