gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize