Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
