I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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