Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
