Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think my moral compass just broke
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
