Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
