She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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