I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
