fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
