That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
