I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
