This is the prime rib incident all over again
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My dick has a subreddit
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
