i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
