I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
