we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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