ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
