some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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