i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
