dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
