Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
