we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
