She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
