Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
