dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
