when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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