so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
