I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
