did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize