i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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