so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
