just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Panties = found
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
