I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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