i just wanna soil my oats bro
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
