and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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