just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
