She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
