That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
