take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
