About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize