I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I enjoy the company of your penis
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