Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
