only you would photoshop your dick
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
