You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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