4 words: hood of his car
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
