Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
