I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
