Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
