I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
