They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
