Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Someone shattered a urinal.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
