Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
