You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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