Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
