I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
