She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
dude. I can hear the air.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
