Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
