And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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