So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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