Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
